For our daughter's first birthday, we are blessing her with a new name. It's a name that captures her spirit, what she's been to us and our families, and is an intimate reminder of God's goodness to us through her. The name is Ani (ah-nee), and in Hebrew means grace. It's a name we loved when I was pregnant; the only name, in fact, that Rob and I were both immediately struck by.
Our baby girl has been a grace to us since her conception. I didn't expect her so soon. I was prepared for the long haul. And she has been such a delightful child. I do not say this to brag - quite the opposite. I say it to celebrate God's grace. He gives, often in spite of.
This is why Ani fits her. But really we wouldn't go to the trouble just for that. The real reason is this: God has laid it on my heart for 12 months in a row and just will not let it go! :) After she was born, when it was time to give a name, I didn't feel anything either way. And since we liked Olivia so well, we went with it. Announcements had to be made, people were waiting! When we brought her home from the birth center, I felt the burden of "Ani, Ani." I ignored it for months, though it continued to well up when I was still and quiet. I tried to talk myself out of it many times. One evening, I consciously acknowledged it in prayer and told the Lord I was willing for him to say her name is Ani. Relief, peace, freedom. I soon realized the only reason I resisted making the change was because I didn't want people to think we were weird (too late, you say!). Since trying to please people is utterly futile and absurd, that was easily overcome. Finally, when she was 10 months old, I told Rob I thought she was meant to be Ani and we began praying. I am grateful for a husband who is open to the promptings of the Spirit!!!!!!!!! We prayed and listened, and the long and short of it is, it's clear this girl's name is Ani. The Lord was even gracious to give an outside confirmation from a third party. Yippppppeeeeeeeeeee.
It's who God has made her to be - a grace. Perhaps most profoundly, the name is a special reminder to me that God is not who I think he is. Before I conceived, I feared that God would require a higher level of holiness, stronger character, etc. before he would bless. I thought he would use the pain of waiting to motivate me to work on my issues, pursue him more, etc. Basically I anticipated a repeat of Rob's and my dating experience - wade through a lot of junk before the heart's desire would be granted. Then I found out I was pregnant.
In Ani Olivia Brooke, God showed me tangibly that he doesn't work that way. I asked and he gave. I did nothing to earn or deserve. Others were and are more deserving than me. I didn't have to achieve a certain level of spiritual maturity first. Our baby girl is forever my reminder that God often gives gifts with no strings attached.
We have learned two very important lessons through this: 1) heed the Lord's inner promptings real-time, even if (especially if) you might look like an idiot and 2) defy social convention when necessary (e.g. don't name a child until you are good and ready, or change after a year if need be).
SO, it is with joy and gratitude that we bless God and our little one with her full name - Ani Olivia Brooke Alexander. We are calling her Ani Olivia, Ani Olive, Ani O. There is lots of grace given for the transition! :)
"For of His fulness we have all received, and grace upon grace."
John 1:16
4 comments:
and so Ani it is. What a beautiful name. How wonderful that you have ears that hear and the humility to act. dq
Sara - I love her name. It's beautiful and I love the boldness and
obedience in which you claim her new name - all for Christ's sake.
You are a gifted writer. I truly pray the Lord will open doors in His
time for you to write that it might benefit, reward, and bless your
life and others and bring glory to Him. Your blog is just a glimpse of
what I think He could share and teach through you. I love it!
You never fail to evoke emotion in me in your writing - whether because
of some similarities in the old Sara and old Tiffany, years of
personal contact and intimacy with your family (and vice-versa), or just the
fact that our Lord has you steps infront of me (both spiritually and
physically), of course for His purpose in my life because I am certain He
uses you (and has for years) to show me, refine me, grow me, love me,
teach me...
It is sweet to be reminded that the Lord gives inspite of us. Of
course we should see this all the time - after all, He gave Jesus inspite of
all of us - while we were yet sinners...
I praise Him along with you for the gifts and abundance He has given
you - a Godly husband, a daughter that is the image of grace, a caring
and loving family - and I am thankful to be a spectator (and a reader) of
what God does in, through, and for the Alexanders (specifically in the
life of one dear Barbee)!
Sending love a thousand times. - Tiffany
"Ani", grace! Grace upon grace. Thank you Father. Thank you for a partner who helps me walk intimately with You, and for this little girl who is a reminder to us of Your grace for us in Jesus!
This is truly wonderful!
Ani has her true name, no doubt for a purpose that will be revealed more and more as the days go by. How wonderful for Ani to be able to some day hear the story of how her parents acted with courageous faith in walking with God in this decision. This will mean something special to her as when she gets older.
For you and Rob, I am thrilled to see you two step out and do what you know is right in your heart as you have been listening to the voice of God and walking with Him. I think the trials of these past months/year have brought you to a place where you could hear and could obey. You are both an encouragement to me. JB
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