Today is September 28. The end of the month. September 28 is a reminder of our utter dependence on God and his care for us. It means six weeks of being "homeless" and four weeks of unemployment. It means 2 days until another round of monthly bills are due. It means 2 more days of health insurance.
I've begun to sincerely believe that this state is a gift from God. The illusion that we are in control and self-sufficient has dissolved. Life has become easier in a lot of ways. Decisions are simple when your options are nil. Worrying seems more futile than ever (when was it ever useful?). I'm writing this blog now, two days before another month begins and before God has revealed his provision, so that you can share in our praise when we are sustained once again. :)
Our being wholly dependent on God's provision has also inspired reflection on the lives of our faith's heroes. It's quite freeing to consider that no one in the Bible had a steady paycheck, much less health insurance or six months worth of living expenses saved, the absence of which is considered "unwise" by the American church today. No, the greats didn't have any safety nets to fall back on. They depended on God to make crops succeed, to keep livestock healthy, to protect their families from harm.
Gene was just commenting the other day on how churches in third-world countries see so many more bonafide miracles. If you get sick in impoverished Africa, the only place to turn is to a God who heals. A Sudanese believer who contracts malaria is dependent on God to act, or she's dead. That's it, no alternatives. She seeks God for everything and finds him. We are nowhere near as aware of the extent of our comprehensive destitution as she, but we're closer than before.
Gene and I are clear on the fact that God is sustaining our existence, and that our married life up to now has been filled with incredible luxuries. Luxuries that we enjoyed, but that perpetuated a sense of self-competence.
At the beginning of God's revelation to the apostle John, the resurrected Christ rebukes the church of Laodicea for their unfounded self-confidence:
'You say, "I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing," and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked....'
Revelation 3:17
Lord, we agree with you that we are naked and needy! :)
4 comments:
Hey Sara, I don't know how I got on here but I am here. You are an amazing writer, really. Can you put my work email on here so I get these more often? Itis steveleeball@hotmail.com. I am so with you on your blog though, God's strength and provision is sufficient. AMEN. This is Steve by the way....
I enjoyed, your post. I agree with it. What caught me was the name of it. I have written a poem many years ago titled, Naked, Blind, Lost. It is posted on my blog you may enjoy reading it.
Cheers,
Cody
to arrive at this state is a life altering event- to come to the end of ones self-what an incredible gift you have in your hands. You are so young to be so wise. the dq
Oh but rich in God!!!!!!!!!
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